Infernos Nightclub

Don't even think about it!

19 Sep 08, 16:43 Well below expectations

What can i say, not at all my usual type of venue but i thought could be good for a laugh. Oh no i had no idea what I was in store for! Reminded me of being 16, i think the music was still the same, really bad R'n'b, Smirnoff ice's spring to mind, dodgy lycra outfits and sticky carpets. Bad music and bad people (saw a guy puke up on himself). I beg you please don't go!

Get drunk first, very drunk

22 Apr 08, 10:03 Well below expectations

I am actually one of the those people mentioned in the review above who's moved to London after graduating and ended up in the area. As a result I don't really know many places to go. I asked around and a few people mentioned this place with the early 90'sesque name of Infernos.

Literally everyone who me spoke of the place used adjectives such as "dirty", "filthy", "cheesey", "meat market" and "rubbish", "a place to go when your off your face on tequila and unaware of your surroundings.

Unfortunately I maade the mistake of "going up Infernos" when I was only moderately drunk.

Never again.

Clapham at it's finest

09 Apr 08, 17:23 As expected

I've only been once and was expecting a terrible time so it actually came out better than expected.

Reminded me of clubs back home in Blackpool - full on cheese, carpeted floors, talking djs.

It's got a huge two floors, lots of bars and is filled with hot girls, and ugly guys.

If you went to unis like Warwick, Birmingham etc, then prepare to spot people you snogged 5 years ago and never want to see again.

Vile place.

19 Aug 07, 10:30 Well below expectations

This is the sort of place you never decide to go to... you just end up there. But now, with a good dose of discipline (and, let's face it, a few more years under my belt) I will now refuse to go to this place. I don't think I have EVER had a good night here.

Largely agree with the reviews here, but I don't find it full of Sloanies... it tends to be full of people who have found themselves in London after graduating (and obviously having moved to Clapham) and aren't sure where they should go out in London so revert to Infernos by default. Lots of attitude as well, which often ruins what already is going to be a terrible night out.

One extra thing to mention is that the place absolutely stinks of vomit and congealed years of nicotine and spilled vodka and Red Bull. I haven't been since the smoking ban but I'd imagine the relative sweet smell of smoke was actually the equivalent of Fabreeze, hiding the disgraceful stench.

Keep this one for the rugby tours. Don't ever expect a decent night here.

Grot

05 Aug 07, 01:40 Well below expectations

If you're hankering after your student days, or even the days before you were a student and used to use fake ID to get into clubs with names like Ritzy's and Mirage, get yourself down here. If you're actually after a good night out, you're probably best looking elsewhere.

On a good night, it smells of cheesy feet, on a bad night, of vomit. You'll pay over the odds to get in and over the odds to get a drink. If you're in a big group, you might think you're doing it ironically and have a great night out, (like the hen parties and the rugby boys who you'll be sharing the dancefloor with) but, let's be honest, if you're over 18 and are even slightly bovvered about where you spend your time and your money, go elsewhere.

If you have to...

14 May 07, 12:13 Well below expectations

"Infernos" has slipped into South London idiom as shorthand for a Sloan-filled, Hackett-wearing, University graduate cheese fest. There are several floors, plus a VIP area, all consistently filled to the rafters with hen parties who don't know any better and Hooray Henrys who lack the imagination to find anywhere else to go. Drinks are expensive, the music is car-crash Eighties stuff and it costs a tenner to get in. Please save your money - there are literally hundreds of better ways to dispose of it in the SW area.