Himalayan Spice

So when you walk into a restaurant like this, with a kind of traditional, rustic, and generally underwheming decor, things can either go one of two ways. Either, the simplicity hides a master chef, and a range of traditional authentic dishes that really blow you away, or as it happens to be in this case, it's total shit.

Yes, the cheekily named 'Nepalese cusine', which doubles in fact for a bunch of dishes you get in any regular indian takeaway, is stormingly poor. In fact, its the worst Indian restaurant going. To begin the fruit juice was apple juice from concentrate, the coke was flat... but the food; I feel sorry for Nepalese people. I didn't realise they all ate from Iceland. Three dishes: one chicken, one lamb, and some dumplings. The curries were powder and paste, with a shedload of cream, and identical to each other. Zero flavour, bland, unseasoned trash. The chicken was from a frozen sack - microwave thawed and chucked into each ready-mix sauce. We sent one back and had it replaced with a Jalfrezi. Jalfrezi with water. Nothing is served with any flavour, not even an onion in sight. There was one crowning part of the meal which stood out above all else: the After Eight mints. Mmm, they were the best After Eights I've ever had! I was licking the packet, and even the bill tray! Mmm. Just skip the food, ask for the bill, eat the After Eights and go. On your way out there's a little table, from which you can grab a 2 inch comb from the desk on the way out - they come from a Nepalese Christmas Cracker, but are a steal at £15.00 (imagine the suprise on your loved oves face - a pubic comb!) My advice to the restaurant: get Gordon Ramsay in and then let him fire your chef. My advice to restaurant goers in Chiswick: go round the corner to the pub and have a steak and ale pie - that what we should have done. I would have rather had food poisoning than had to cover £70+ here. It was a totally unfortunate experience.